Krazy Kaufmanns Lady Strikes Again!

Once again, as I was leaving work yesterday, KKL was in another fit of rage. Yesterday she had a few choice words for me, and uh, my Louis Vuitton....


KKL: FUCK YOU AND YOUR BAG!

Me: *snickers*

Things That Bother Me....

When you get a new pair of jeans and practically have to zip them up with a pair of pliers because they're so tight, only to find out that after only a day of wearing them, they have stretched out so much that you have to hold them up.

Fuck those jeans.

Fun Quotes from the Weekend

Scene #1: Riding in the car with friends on the way to a bar

Erin: Jesus Christ A! Why do you always have to get drunk? Can't you just enjoy alchool?

*Laughter erupts throughout the car*


Scene #2: At the mall with OCR when I see that my favorite fat girl store is closing

OCR: Oh no Meg, your store is closing down, what are you going to do?

Me: Well, it looks like I'm going to have to loose weight....FUCK!


Scene #3: Cayden pees, once again when I'm taking him out of his crate

Boyfriend: Uh oh Cayden, UR-INE trouble!!

Virginia Tech

Screw what they say about high school, college was the best years of my life. I learned about true friendships, how to work hard and party harder, and most importantly - this is where I gained my independence. Not even for a moment did I fear for my or my fellow student's safety in the comfort of our Alma Mater's classrooms. This (among many other reasons) is why I am so deeply disturbed over what happened in Virginia this past Monday.

I keep putting myself in these students' positions. I can't even imagine just sitting in my class that I drug myself out of bed way early in the morning for, half asleep, only to be jolted to life by some insecure crazed maniac firing bullets into mine and others classrooms. Totally taken off guard, scared, not knowing whether to cry or scream.

What would I have done? Would I have stood there, paralyzed, unable to move, or would I have tried to fight for my life? Would I have ever gone back to school? What would I have done if one of my friends got shot? Questions that still remain unanswered to me, and hopefully I will never be put in a situation where they will need to be answered.

So many things deeply anger and sadden me about this situation.

Not to get up on my soap box (but it seems I am about to, so beware), but something needs to be done about gun control in this country.* Don't get me wrong, I believe in our right to bear arms, but I also believe that our country is doing a piss poor job regulating it. I cannot understand how a mentally disturbed man, on depression medication, can purchase a gun (granted he was the one who actually purchased it, if not, I stand corrected). Does this seem right to you? Roommate says that they cannot discriminate against people with mental illnesses, it is not something that is supposed to be disclosed. Ummm, what? So it would be OK to give Stevey Schizo a gun? Does this even make sense?! It seems that something has got to give here people.

However, the thing that angers me the most is the shooter, being the poor excuse for a human being that he was, shot himself after everything he had done. He was not even man enough to own up to the sorrow and heartache he caused friends, family, and a community altogether.

Fucking coward.

My heart, thoughts, and prayers go out to all who were involved in this great tragedy. If anyone would like to donate to the Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund, you can do so by clicking here.

*I'm not saying only this caused the problem, obviously there were alot of other things, so please do not write me angry comments. K? Thnx.

Lurkers

Come out, come out wherever you are!

Hello! Thanks for stopping by! Leave a comment, say hello, tell me how poor my grammar is, let me know if you really like or seriously hate my blog.

Wait.

Please don't tell me if you hate my blog. It would crush me, it really would.

But anyways, let me know what you think. I don't bite - - unless you have some Reese Pieces in your hand. I love that shit.

Things You Will Never Hear Me Say.....

Ew I HATE the taste of beer!

I would love to own a large dog, but only if it has sharp teeth.

Please give me some rum. I need to calm down.

I only date short men.

I can't eat cheese! I'm lactose intolerant, ya know.

Justin Timberlake is ugly.

Can I PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be in your wedding?!?!?!

Having a child right now would really bring some meaning into my life.

I hope Dave Matthews is coming to Pittsburgh again this summer.

I'm thinking of getting back with my ex-boyfriend. He was so nice to me.

Do not buy me anything else from Tiffanys. I don't deserve it.

Let's move down to Texas.

No thanks, I don't feel like drinking tonight.

Even THINKING about eating raw cookie dough makes me sick. You can get salmonella from that!

Sure, I'll go on a roadtrip with you, but only if we listen to country the whole way.

AND FINALLY.....

Let me do the cooking tonight.

Nightcap

Last Saturday, after a couple hours of drinking for free at a bar, Boyfriend brought me and OCR back to the house. Needless to say, I was quite a bit intoxicated. This is the point where I decided to entertain my whole street with my interpretation of the song "New York, New York."

I set up my own personal stage in my front yard. At this point, Boyfriend quickly made his exit to inside the house, and OCR watched from her balcony seats, aka my front porch.

My after hours show did not disappoint. I started my own dance line, minus the uh, other 15 people that should have been in it with me. I kicked my legs and belted out the song at the top of my lungs, while OCR egged me on and the neighbors cringed in horror.

Then came the finale.

As I sang, OK screamed, "Its up to you, New York, Neeewwww Yoooorrrrk!", my legs swept out right from under me, my arms flew up in the air, and i landed ass first onto my front lawn.

But I never missed a note. I did not want to disappoint my fans, OK fan.

I laid in my front yard, curled up in the fetal position, laughing so hard I could barely breathe, until OCR came down off the "balcony" to help me up.

We kept laughing for 15 minutes after that.

Finally we went into the house and I yelled to Boyfriend at a decibel that only dogs could hear, "DID YOU SEE ME? I WAS SINGING THAT SONG TO YOU, AND THEN I FELL!" To that Boyfriend answered, "I'm shocked." And then he took me up to bed to prevent me from another accident where I could crack my head open or obtain a compound fracture of some sort.

Adventures With Mom

Even though I have moved out of my house almost 2 years ago, my bank statement still comes to my parent's address. Why you ask? Oh, thats because my lovely mother still hasn't taken her name off my account, which she was told, is something we both have to be present for at the bank. Now I have been trying to meet up with her to do this for almost as long as I have been out of there house, but for some reason this is a very difficult task.

It seems simple enough. Both of us work downtown, our bank is SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE of both of our offices, but oh no, not when Mom is involved. Nothing is ever easy with her.

Here is the latest rendition of Sunday Dinner at my parent's:

Mom: Do you have a credit union at work?

Me: I don't even know what that is.

Mom: Its to help you save money. I've been looking at your savings account and.....

Me: MOM! Stop looking at my bank account!

Mom: Well, stop it from coming here!

Me: I've been trying to! You never want to meet me!

Mom: Well lets meet this week.

Me: OK, Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday works best for me.

Mom: How about Thursday?

Me: *Sigh* Thats fine.

Mom: No, not Thursday. In fact, I don't even want to meet during the week, I like to go to the gym on my lunch break. Come over Friday, but you have to be here before 2, because I'm going to church.

*This is the point in the conversation where I totally loose it*

Me: WHY IS THIS SO FREAKING HARD!? WE WORK IN THE SAME AREA, AND LIVE 20 MINUTES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! THIS WILL ONLY TAKE 10 MINUTES, CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY ALREADY?!?!

Mom: Well Jesus Christ Meghan, just come over here Friday after 3. Stop making it such a big deal.

Reason #2 To Call It a Night

When your in a crowded bar and one of your old friends from high school comes in and says, "I would hug you, but I'm covered in blood, let me go wash this off."