Deep Breaths....

I have officially become a Crazy. Not the kind of Crazy that you see with messed up hair, screaming obscenities at passer-bys, the secret kind of Crazy-which I'm convinced is the worst kind.

You see, Boyfriend and I have been talking alot about settling down with each other. His lease is up in November, and since neither one of us wants to move in with the other before that ever so important engagement ring is placed on my finger, we have decided to get engaged before November. And here is where I hit Crazy.

Most girls are afraid of the commitment, but not this Crazy. I am afraid of the ring. I am afraid that he will go out and buy the most hideous ring he can find, and ask me to marry him with it. If I see such a hideous ring, I may have to decline his invitation. Yes, it is THAT important to me. Are you guys seeing Crazy yet?

So the other day, I took it upon myself to be escorted by my boss to a super swanky private jeweler downtown. I worked with the owner of the store for about an hour before he had the perfect blueprint of my engagement ring ready (since they design everything there). I was delighted, and I could barely contain myself from jumping up and down and squealing when he showed me the finished product, because it was perfect.

Then he started to fit me for the ring, so it could be the perfect size as well.

All of a sudden, I was flushed with emotions. This was really happening. It was not a childhood fantasy anymore. I was going to get married and share the rest of my life with someone else. And I must admit, this feeling was pretty overwhelming.

Its not because I think I'm marrying the wrong person. Anyone who knows Boyfriend and I knows that this is definetly not the case. Its the fact that my whole world is about to change. I will no longer be known as the party girl that is a bad influence on all of her friends, I will be known as Alex's wife. My weekends will be filled with housework and yardwork, and will no longer include getting sloshed and not coming home until noon the next day. I will start to think about having a family. I will start having a family, and then that baby will become my life. Every decision I make from here on out is no longer about me.

And as the jeweler announced that I was a size 7 and 3/4 narrow, I put the Crazy aside and decided that this was what I have been waiting for my whole life.