Brand Spankin' New

I just got engaged. I have a new blog. It will probably be taking over from this blog being that I will be in matrimonial hell for the next year. So why not write about it? I promise it will be inappropriate and at times, mildly hysterical.

http://uhohbridezilla.blogspot.com/

Enjoy!

There's About To Be a.....Dog Fight!

Need I reiterate my fear of dogs again? Yesterday was no good.

My poor CaydenPants got his face chewed on yesterday by our neighbors dog. My neighbors have a wooden fence, and when I took Cayden out to pee yesterday, he decided to try to make friends with the dog next door (a German Shepherd Lab mix) by sticking his head through the fence. Bad idea.

The neighbor's dog grabbed Cayden by the head and shook him through the fence for about 5 seconds before I was even able to do something about. Miraculously, as soon as I screamed at the other dog he let go, and Cayden proceeded to run around my backyard shrieking in pain, which seriously broke my heart. The only commical part of this was me trying to catch him. Imagine to yourself a plus sized girl in high heels trying to catch her pint sized dog who is running and screaming around the yard. As soon as I caught him one of my neighbors came barreling out of the house.

He felt so bad about Cayden, that I actually started feeling bad for him. He put some doggy neosporin on my creature and offered to pay any vet bills if I had to take him. I thanked him and told him that I wasn't upset, and that it wasn't like HE bit my dog, because then we would be having some problems. His dog clearly didn't appreciate Cayden trying to come onto his territory.

Luckily, besides him being totally wigged the fuck out, Cayden is OK. He has a scratch by his nose and under his chin, but besides that he's fine. I think I'm going to ask them if they would mind putting some chicken wire up along side the fence to solve the problem.

I'm just glad all of this happened BEFORE my therapy session!

Lunch Update

Ummm can you tell I'm bossless? Four posts in one day? My oh my, aren't you just the lucky reader? OK, well anyways....

Today at lunch I saw a geeky version of Sidney Crosby, which to me equalled hot and hotter. As soon as a saw him I made the sexiest pose I could (without totally giving it away of course) and proceeded to sip my Diet Mountain Dew in an ever so provocative way. At this point, Geeky Crosby was staring at me, but it wasn't because of my super sexy pose or my sucking skills.

It was because I had just spilled my drink down the front of my shirt.

My Poor Neighbors

I don't even want to know what my neighbors thought when they saw me roll up to my house in a strange man's car, wearing the same clothes as the night before, and carrying a computer.

A geeky whore, perhaps?

Deep Breaths....

I have officially become a Crazy. Not the kind of Crazy that you see with messed up hair, screaming obscenities at passer-bys, the secret kind of Crazy-which I'm convinced is the worst kind.

You see, Boyfriend and I have been talking alot about settling down with each other. His lease is up in November, and since neither one of us wants to move in with the other before that ever so important engagement ring is placed on my finger, we have decided to get engaged before November. And here is where I hit Crazy.

Most girls are afraid of the commitment, but not this Crazy. I am afraid of the ring. I am afraid that he will go out and buy the most hideous ring he can find, and ask me to marry him with it. If I see such a hideous ring, I may have to decline his invitation. Yes, it is THAT important to me. Are you guys seeing Crazy yet?

So the other day, I took it upon myself to be escorted by my boss to a super swanky private jeweler downtown. I worked with the owner of the store for about an hour before he had the perfect blueprint of my engagement ring ready (since they design everything there). I was delighted, and I could barely contain myself from jumping up and down and squealing when he showed me the finished product, because it was perfect.

Then he started to fit me for the ring, so it could be the perfect size as well.

All of a sudden, I was flushed with emotions. This was really happening. It was not a childhood fantasy anymore. I was going to get married and share the rest of my life with someone else. And I must admit, this feeling was pretty overwhelming.

Its not because I think I'm marrying the wrong person. Anyone who knows Boyfriend and I knows that this is definetly not the case. Its the fact that my whole world is about to change. I will no longer be known as the party girl that is a bad influence on all of her friends, I will be known as Alex's wife. My weekends will be filled with housework and yardwork, and will no longer include getting sloshed and not coming home until noon the next day. I will start to think about having a family. I will start having a family, and then that baby will become my life. Every decision I make from here on out is no longer about me.

And as the jeweler announced that I was a size 7 and 3/4 narrow, I put the Crazy aside and decided that this was what I have been waiting for my whole life.

Boyfriend is Going to Get It!

Right now, as I am typing this, I have a large grease stain on my left breasticle. Why, you ask? Because right after Boyfriend decided to make his lunch this morning, he decided that he had to violate me before washing his hands. Now, some of his lunch is on display for my whole office to see, and I'm sick of people telling me that there is something on my shirt.

I'm just glad they don't see that it resembles a hand.

Bus Stories

I can't believe I didn't think of writing this before! As most of you know, I am an avid people watcher, and when I'm on the bus, I'm an avid people listener. And now, it is time for me to post some conversations I have been hearing lately.

Girl #1: Can you believe that no one would give up their seat for that mom holding her baby?

Girl #2: Ya, thats just fucking RUDE!

Girl #1: I told that fat lady who was talking up 2 seats up front, that she should have gotten up because she was taking up two whole damn seats.

Girl #2: What did she say?

Girl #1: She asked me if I was talking to her, and I said hell ya I'm talking to you! A bus pass just covers a person, NOT their ass.
____________________________________________________________________

Butt Grabber: I once grabbed some fat guys butt on here and he turned around and said "Wowza!" Who the FUCK says "wowza" anymore?
____________________________________________________________________

Back of the Bus Girl: Goodbye ma'am, have a nice day.

Friend: Why are you saying that to everyone?

Back of the Bus Girl: I'm just saying it to be polite. One time I said it to some lady and she turned around and said, "shut the fuck up!". Then I told her to eat shit.

Congratulations Biatch!

I believe a congratulations is in order for my very good friend Lexie. You see, last month Lexie's boyfriend Chad proposed to her down in Mexico and they have set their wedding date for this coming April. Even though I have known her for a very short time, and we met each other in a non-traditional sort of way (through a website designed for "curious" females-kiddng, seriously KIDDING!), she has become nothing short of a supercalafragalisticexpealadocious friend to me.

Did I mention she's getting married in Cancun and I'M invited!? You have no idea how frickin awesome this girl is. Not only do I NOT have to BE in her wedding, but I get to go to Mexico for it! In fact, she has even put me on clean up crew so I feel like I have something to do, and so that I may feel special. I REALLY hope I get to clean up some puke. When I see her in October, I think I just might love her and squeeze her and call her George.

So Congratufuckulations Lexie and Chad! I hope you have very happy lives together and make beautiful babies! Also Lexie, I'm glad that are becoming a "Mc". Now we will BOTH have excuses when we get drunk and throw up all over ourselves.

Would you consider putting this on your Knot website? Hehe.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Due to the fact that I am about the most BORING person in the world lately, I am going to tell you guys a story of when I studied abroad in Ireland. You bitches are in for a real treat.

Contrary to popular belief, I used to be a wild child. Back in my late years of high school and early years of college, I was absolutely batshit crazy. Take for example yesterday, when I was informed that I had thieved a car not once, but twice in my life. Yes, apparently the second time just slipped my mind. Before you guys think that I'm a fugitive, let me just inform you that the cars belong to people that I knew. So I didn't really steal them, I just borrowed them......ummmm, without telling anyone. Ya, thats what happened.....


OK so back to Ireland. Hurricane Meghan invaded the Emerald Isle in March of 2004, her senior year of college. I was beyond pumped for this trip. It was the only thing on my mind ever since I conned money out of my mom and dad in early November. Needless to say, I knew I was in for one helluva spring break.


The only person I knew on this trip was one of my sorority sisters. Everyone else was a complete stranger to me, but I made friends quickly courtesy of the first wild and crazy night we had there. And this is where our story begins.


You see, for the first two nights we spent in Ireland we stayed in a monestary. But it was a mega cool monestary. So cool that I smoked a couple cigarettes with a nun one day. They were pretty tolerant of alot of things there, but not everything as I was soon to find out.


After we got settled in to our respective rooms, got showers, and introduced ourselves, our entire group (about 28 of us) walked across the street to this local bar in the small town of Maynouth, which is about an hour outside of Dublin. From this point on, all 28 of got completely, utterly, shamefully hammered except for this one girl who wouldn't drink because she basically just sucked. At one point, the group of us turned this tiny bar into a dance club, which the bartender was not too happy about. Apparently he was yelling at us to stop and telling us that "we don't do those kinds of things here", but all of us were too drunk to hear or care. So drunk in fact, that I remember us all dancing like chickens while singing "God Bless America" with some of the locals. They dug our chicken dancing.

As the night went on, our number dwindled down until there was only about 5 of us left and the bar owner had to all but throw us "Fresh Prince Style" out of his bar. The 5 of us stumbled out of the bar, still singing and slurring when we saw it. The monestary had put up the gate, the gate that was about 10 feet high with large spikes on it. We had no way to get back in, we even checked the outside perimeter. Shit.

"Well I guess we'll just have to sleep outside then", one girl said.

"No fucking way", I called out before she could even finish her sentence.

I then began to plot my scheme.

So you know that kid? You know, that kid thats in just about every group of friends that will do whatever you tell him or her to do when they're drunk? Well, I figured that we had to have one of those in our group, and boy was I right. Let me tell you, I can stiff these people out like Reese Pieces. His name was K., and I first learned that he was our person when I caught him running up and down the curbs on the side of the road while barely keeping his balance.

"Hey K.!" I called, "I have a mission for you, if you choose to accept it."

"Oh a mission! What is it?!", said K eagerly.

"Here's the story. We're locked out of the monestary. We need to get back in. What I need you to do is to climb over that fence, unlock it, and let us back in. You'll totally be saving the day and one of us might kiss you."

"Well I would, but there's spikes on the fence, isn't that kind of dangerous?"

"Its a mission its supposed to be dangerous, now go set us free!"

Right on cue, K. began climbing the fence. And let me tell you, it was one of the funniest sights I have ever seen in my life. The spikes that were on the fence kept going through K.'s shoes, which caused him to climb even faster so they wouldn't poke his foot. When he got to the top, he turned to us, put his hands up over his head and yelled "I'm climbing over the fence to get to the free world!", which made absolutely no fucking sense, but it was one of the most hysterical things I have ever head someone say. Maybe it was because I was drunk beyond belief.

And this is when the Guarda (aka the Irish Police) came.

All of a sudden we were surrounded. Caught totally off guard, me and one of the other boys dove into a bush, which didn't go over too well with the Guarda. All I could think about was that I was going to go to a foreign jail and never be let out, and they would beat me and torture me and rub my face in the dirt.

What followed next was like a scene out of a movie. There were about 3 or 4 of them all shining flashlights in our faces and screaming at us. Apparently someone from the monestary thought we were breaking in and called the cops. After I was ordered to come out of the bush, I politely explained to them our situation, and after about 15 minutes of further questioning, they called the monestary and had them open the gates for us.

And this ladies and gentlemen, was only my first night there.

Ten Things I Hate About Me

Well OK, not really, but I was tagged by this blogger to write a meme about myself.

*side note: isn't "meme" a fun word to say? I could say it all day meme, meme, meme, meme. Getting tired of me yet? Thats what I thought*

OK, so if your not completely tired of this blog being all about me, then read on about 10 interesting things about myself. There's alot of dirt here people. You won't be disappointed!

1. I think I've mentioned here before that I am scared to death of large dogs. So scared, that it took me a looonngg time to get used to Boyfriend's dog (he has a boxer...blech!) even being in the same room with me without starting to panic. When we first started dating, I wouldn't even let the dog around me, and to this day I still don't let it anywhere near my face. Why you ask? When I was 10 years old I was mauled by a dog, an Akita to be exact. I knew the dog, knew the neighbors and when my friend and I went walking around our neighborhood one day, i bent down to pet Fido and he jumped up and bit my face. He barely missed my jugular vain and almost tore my ear off. I have 3 scars on the right side of my face from him. I've been through plastic surgeries and am planning on getting laser surgery in the near future. The scar bothers me to no end. I pile makeup on top of makeup on it.

2. Between the ages of 4-9 I was banned from eating Skittles. Apparently, when I was just knee high to a grasshopper, Dad gave me a king sized bag of Skittles. He didn't ration it, just gave me the whole freakin' bag and I ate THE WHOLE THING in about an hour. I then spent the rest of the day "puking the rainbow". Needless to say Mom was pissed and I was never allowed to eat Skittles again. I'm sure Dad got a pretty good tongue lashing too. Poor Dad.

3. I am a descendant from an Irish "mob" called the Molly Maguires. I studied abroad in Ireland for awhile, and thats where I learned about them. When I went to see if I had any relatives that were involved with them (because their society was formed around my area) , sure enough there was a Peter M. that was hung in the gallows because of his affiliation with The Mollies. So maybe you'll think twice about messing me with me now, right? Don't make me whack you.

4. I barely ever finish anything I start. This is so, so sad that I think I just might cry myself a river over here. I will begin something and have this huge wave of creativity and ambition, only for it to quickly sizzle out....in about an hour. You should see my blog dashboard....alot of drafted posts that I never finish. Usually I think this is because NOTHING IS EVER EASY FOR ME. Something that would take an average person 15 minutes to do, would take my sorry ass about 2 hours to complete because I would screw it up and have to start from scratch. I also think my pea sized attention span is the other culprit. You have to understand people, that my brain is usually just full of crazy, random thoughts. So when I'm trying to focus on one thing, I have about 20 other things on my mind. Think I'm a nut case yet? Good. Lets move on....

5. Believe it or not, I'm lactose intolerant, and right now all of the people that know me in real life are all laughing as they read this. Why is this so funny to them? Well, besides the fact that they're rude bitches, I probably eat more dairy than anyone else on this planet, and possibly in other far away galaxies. I'm addicted to cheese and ice cream. So addicted, that I still eat it in mass quantities that make me unbelievably sick. I throw up about once or twice a week because I go waaaaay over my dairy limit. Its totally unhealthy, but I just can't stop my psycho self from eating it.

6. When I was in college, I played Rugby for a semester. Yes, me, a totally girly girl thought it was a good idea for her to play a sport that had more physical contact and less protective gear than football. Since I was one of the bigger girls, I got put in a position called a prop, which is the front line of a scrum. It was such a bad idea. I got a concussion my third practice and my whole body was one big black and blue mark, but I did get to beat alot of bitches up. I quit the next semester and joined a sorority that was more my style.

7. I am a total Attention Whore. I love for all eyes to be on me, all the time. I'm usually the first person to dance on the "Booty Bar" at my favorite dance club, or to sing a crazy karaoke song. These antics landed me to be part of a Carnival Legends Show on my spring break cruise a couple years ago. I was dressed up like Madonna, had back up dancers, sang Like A Virgin, and rolled around on the stage just like Madge did in her video. Did I mention this was in an auditorium FILLED with people? Yep, I loved every single second of it and wasn't embarrassed in the slightest.

8. One of my biggest dreams in life is to pose for Playboy. I would love it. But as much as I would love to pose for Playboy, I know that I would have to drop some poundage and get into shape. I doubt Hugh Hef would want to have some blob in his centerfold. And yes, my parents would TOTALLY mind if I did something like this, but I wouldn't tell them. It would be my Top Secret Playboy Scandal. And why would they be reading that dirty magazine anyways? I doubt Mom and Dad would want to get called out for that.

9. Not that you would ever think this NOW, but when I was in high school I had a mild (can you even call it mild?) eating disorder. My high school put crazy amounts of pressure on me to be thin, and I caved. I remember the last straw was when some asshole drew a picture of me that depicted me as a balloon. The next day I stopped eating. I would have 2 crackers for lunch (which I would scrape the filling off) and a piece of lunch meat for dinner. The only time I would ever eat something of substance was when I had a soccer game, and that would only be half a can of fat free raviolis. I convinced myself that nothing was wrong with me, and that I just lost interest in food. I was loosing about 10-13 lbs a week, and would weigh myself about 7 times a day to make sure that I weighed less then the previous time I had stepped on the scale. I didn't get professional help, it was something I had to work through on my own, which I did and it has made me SUCH a strong person. I hope that when I have daughters that they don't think they have to change for everyone else, and that they can learn to be comfortable in their own skin. I never would want anyone to go through what I did.

10. On a lighter note, when I was younger you could get me to do anything just by saying "your afraid, aren't you?" To this I would reply "I'M NOT AFRAID" and would proceed to do some obnoxious stunt where the result tended to be anything but favorable. Some of these stunts include driving around in a "stolen vechile" (it was one of our friends so we technically didn't steal it per say), tearing up our practice field with my Jeep Wrangler, and driving on a lake that was frozen over. Today, you may still get me to do something outrageous by saying that to me, but I tend to be more discretionary with it.

So now I'm supposed to tag other people, but everyone I know has been tagged already! So lets do this, shall we? Leave me a comment or 10 with a random fact about yourself. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some things I need to finish up. Maybe if your lucky I'll post about me weekend that contains information about keg softball, a shot ski, and some moonshine.

Bitch Slapped By VB!

So Virginia Belle, my most favoritist (I don't care if thats not a word, its my blog and I'll speak as I wish!) blogger in the whole entire blog world, has decided to interview me, and she wasn't even scared one bit! Ha! So if you want to learn a little bit more about me, read on. If not, too fucking bad-read it anyways!

Ready? Here goes:

1. Name 3 things we actually DON'T have in common. (Middle initials and cooking don't count, because i already know those two.)

Oh Lordy, this is going to be a tough one. My buddy VB and I pretty much lead parallel lives with each other, but I will answer this question to the best of my ability.

a.) We have different opinions on animals.

VB hates cats, and I absolutely ADORE them! If I could take every cat in the world and love them and squish them and call them George, I totally would do it. I definitely have the ambition to become a crazy cat lady, but Boyfriend won't let me. He makes sure I steer clear of cat adoptions at Petco, and never lets me within 30 feet of a petstore. Pretty smart guy that Boyfriend is. Did you ever see that Oprah show where this family had like 80 cats? Ya, that could be me. *shudders*

I also know for a fact that VB hates to dress up her dogs, and I must admit that this is something that my crazy ass loves to do. Sometimes I even think that Cayden has nicer clothes than I do. Seriously! This pup has a suede coat with fur trimming for winter that he looks like a total pimp in....so much of a pimp that he goes from plain ole Cayden to Pimp Daddy C in the matter of a zip and a velcro snap! Oh ya, Pimp Daddy C gets all the bitches in the neighborhood!

b.) VB loves her some Jelly Bellys. I on the other hand, see some Jelly Bellys and instantly want to projectile vomit. Now I can eat regular jelly beans, but just not Jelly Bellys. Why you ask? Well once upon a time when Meghan was all but 8 years old she spent New Years Eve with her Ma (my grandmother) and her best friend Patrick. Ma, against her better judgement and reasoning gave Meghan and Patrick a HUGE FUCKING box of Jelly Bellys. After eating almost half the box, and while being on major sugar highs, Meghan and Patrick decided to experiment with said Jelly Bellys. They would mix "strawberry" and "butter flavored popcorn" among all other gross combinations in their mouth and eat them. The grosser, the better. Low and behold the next morning both Meghan and Patrick woke up with horrible stomach aches and continued to puke all day. And that my friends, was the end of Jelly Bellys for Ms. Meghan.

c.) Wow, this one is hard. I may have to cop out for right now and say that VB is more edumicated than I am. See she has her masters degree in library science, and I only have a crappy old bachelors in political science. Good lord, even our degrees have the same name in it! If we didn't look so damn different, i would swear that we were long lost sisters or some crazy shit like that!

2. Does it really suck to be in someone's wedding? i have never had the opportunity. what is it like?

HA! Double ha! Well, when it comes to this question I'm a little biased. I have become tainted by the whole bridesmaid experience. The first wedding I was supposed to be in was alot of fun leading up to it. The bride was most definitely NOT bridezilla, and all of the other girls in the wedding party were super duper amounts of fun. However, the wedding was called off 2 weeks before the actual wedding date. I was stuck with a dress, but wasn't the least bit angry. I wanted HER to be happy, and if it meant calling off a wedding then so be it. All I can say is thank god I kept the tags on that dress BECAUSE.....

The next wedding I was in was a complete disaster. The only thing good that came out of it was me being able to take the dress I had from the previous wedding, and exchanging it for a dress for this wedding (since they were both from the same shop). When the girl asked me to be in her wedding, I was barely even friends with her anymore. I told her that I would love to be in her wedding, but if it was going to be a large financial commitment I wouldn't be able to since I was planning on going to law school that fall. She assured me that it would not be, and that my friends, was the biggest lie I have ever been told.

Her Maid of Honor was a complete cow, so much of a cow that we renamed her the Maid of Horror. MOH was the only one with a "real" job. The rest of us were stuck in our crappy, part time jobs working at Panera Bread or Hooters (hehe), thus leaving us alot more strapped for cash than she was. However, MOH did not care. After consulting with Bridezilla, MOH decided that we would be having the bridal shower at an expensive restaurant and each of us would have to chip in 100 smackers! Wait, did I mention there were 8 of us?!!? Did I also mention that the Mother and Grandmother of Bridezilla only put in as much money as us people working at Hooters and Panera did? Ya, wasn't that nice and shitty? Oh ya, and the fact that only 30 people were there. Yes people, IT WAS THAT MUCH MONEY! Who does that? Why couldn't you have it at a church or a firehall like everyone else?! Not even counting the fact that NONE OF US HAD ANY FUCKING MONEY!

The bachelorette party was another disaster in the making. Bridezilla put Former Roommate (FR for short now) and I in charge of planning it. Little did we know that MOH was not having that. MOH would NEVER pick anywhere cheap and fun like FR and I did! Noooooo MOH wanted to go to mother fucking Sing Sing which besides the Omni William Penn and the Hilton is one of the most expensive places to go out. This is where I lost it. Apparently FR had called up the MOH to tell her that her selection didn't fit our budgets, but she wasn't having it. MOH wanted it there and she said Bridezilla did too. FR was crying, and I HATE when my friends cry, especially when it is because someone is just bullying them around. So I took it upon myself to call up everyone of the bridesmaids AND Bridezilla to ask them what they would like to do. As I had suspected, they all thought Sing Sing was too expensive, and Bridezilla was fine with the alternative plans I had offered. I then called the MOH and told her of the changed plans and she wigged out. She told me that that was what BRIDEZILLA wanted to do (which was a total lie) and that we were all being selfish because we weren't complying with Bridezilla's wishes. And this is where I went apeshit on her and told her that that she was in fact the selfish bitch who wasn't thinking of anyone else's feelings. Then I asked her if she would like the rest of us to pull the money for this out of our own asses or hers. Soon after I hung up with MOH Bridezilla called and proceeded to yell at ME! Even though when I called Bridezilla to ask her about the alternative plans she was fine with it, and said she didn't even want to GO to Sing Sing. Is everyone seeing the drama here yet???? Good Lord!

So this VB, is what its like to be in a wedding. But I must say that I'm going to be in a wedding this Fall, and I'm actually having fun with it. The girls in the wedding party are all pretty cool and the bride is so easy going I just want to squeeze her and give her a million thanks. So we'll see, maybe this one will break the bad bridesmaid mold. Lets hope so!

3. What is your worst cooking disaster EVER?

Well, I've never really had that big of a disaster per say, just some minor mishaps that always end up happening (may I remind you that Former Roommate was the one who lit the oven on fire this year? Oh yes, thats right). Most of the time these things happen because I get distracting so damn easily. I'll be reading a recipe and all of a sudden see something shiny, and then its just all over. Sometimes I think I may be a little slow. But here are the most recent mishaps:

a.) Forgetting to put spinach in a spinach dip. Ya, I left it in the microwave to defrost, made the rest of it and put it in the oven. Dur!

b.) One time I attempted to make stuffed shells. I mis-read the ingredients (oh! something shiny!) and put in a tablespoon of oregano instead of a teaspoon. Yum! Oh ya, and I forgot to chop the oregano up too.

c.) I made some meatloaf that literally made Boyfriend sick to his stomach. I mean actually in the throwing up kind of way. Now he won't eat meatloaf again. I scarred him for life. Oops.

4. What is your most embarrassing moment?

Now this one is pretty hard being that I don't embarrass easily. I am THE clumsiest person in the whole world, so I think I've just become accustomed to people pointing and laughing at me, but I think this one tops the charts.

Up here in Da Burgh, we have restaurants called Quaker Steak and Lube. I'm not sure if any of you have ever heard of them, but its a wing place that is made up to look like a car garage (read: there are windows EVERYWHERE). So I am there with Former Roommate, Gramma, and Mom when I realize that I'm cold and want to go out to the car to get my sweater. So I exit the restaurant and head for the car which is parked right in the front row facing the restaurant's ginormous windows. A monster truck is pulling in right besides the car and since I am the most impatient person in the whole world, I run to the car grab my coat out, and jump over the curb. Problem was was that I didn't jump. I fell. Right over the curb. And did a face plant on the pavement. And oh, remember the monster truck that was pulling in besides me? I fell right in front of him. He had to slam on his breaks so that he wouldn't hit me. Worst part of this? THE WHOLE FREAKIN RESTAURANT SAW ME! When I walked back into the restaurant you could tell that everyone was stifling their laughter, them Mom started clapping and yelled "so how does pavement taste?!" Oh ya, and I had scrapes on my face, arms, and legs, so believe me, I definitely looked the part of an incompetent human being.

5. I was going to ask you how you and your boyf met, but i think you told me once....so instead i will ask: "if you could have any superpower you want, what would you pick and why?"

Well it definitely WOULD NOT be the power to read peoples minds. I really don't want to know what people thing of me, being that I'm a complete neurotic basket case most of the time. What I would REALLY want to do would have the ability to teletransport like they do on Star Trek. Beam me up Scotty! I could sleep in an hour more each day and I would NEVER be late for anything! Woo Hoo!!!! Also, think of the money that I could save on gas and airfare. I'd be rich, bitch!

OK enough about me, what about you? If you want me to interview you (I cannot be held accountable for any inappropriate questions asked) leave me a comment and let me know.

Have a great weekend everyone!