You Have to Have Thick Skin to Roll With THIS Family

One of the things my family does best when we are all together is pick on each other, especially when there is alchool involved (which is pretty much always). This Christmas did not disappoint. Here is the list of victims:

-- My Uncle's girlfriend let it slip that he wore two totally different shoes to work that week. It was pretty bad. One shoe he had to tie to put on, and the other was a slip on. When Uncle came over on Christmas day, my Dad even went as far as to switch one of his own shoes with Uncle's to see if he would notice before he left their house.

-- We persistently made fun of my Grandfather after my Grandmother said that they would take the bus everywhere when they first started dating. We called him "Big Spender" for the rest of the night.

-- Uncle and his Girlfriend bought Favorite Cousin's Boyfriend the same exact shirt he had on that night. FC's boyfriend made the mistake of saying that it was a great gift since he hadn't washed the one he had on in a while. This threw the family into an uproar and I refused to sit next to him.

-- Uncle's Girlfriend made the mistake of telling us that her family used to hang their Christmas Tree out of their bathroom window when she was growing up. This led to a HUGE debate, and eventually a Google search to see if it was a true tradition or if she was just "weird."

-- UG's son wanted to go to midnight mass after about 6 beers. She the proceeded to tell him to go and get blessed in hopes that it would make HER life easier.

-- A certain relative's alchoolism was the talk of the holiday and random search parties were sent out to look for any reminisce she might have left behind.

-- Grandma and Grandpap's inheritance is always the talk of our family gatherings. The second generation gets grandpap's inheritance and are constantly telling him to shut lights off and not to donate to any more charities. The third generation (me) gets Grandma's inheritance and we always thank her for not donating to charities being that we are the only charity she needs to be concerned with. Mine and FC's boyfriends think this is horrible. We think its hilarious.

-- The Fam always finds it hilarious to refer to FC's boyfriend as "Ben" behind his back. Ben was FC's old boyfriend who bears a striking resemblance to the new boyfriend. I find it hilarious when they slip up and say it to his face.

-- Making fun of Grandma's hearing is always free game. Sometimes we just mouth stuff to her to see if she can tell the difference. We have been doing this for years.

-- My mom always tells me that my dog is the only "grandchild" she will ever have. I always look forward to seeing my dad's face when I respond with "Well, that's what you think" while I rub my stomach and smile.

So, anyone want to marry me?