Worst. Weekend. EVER!!! Part I

OK so it has been awhile since I last posted. Let me tell you why.....

The past weekend started out kind of nice. I went to my Firm's Christmas Party on Friday night (which let me out of work an hour early...woo hoo!!!), and its hard to have a bad time when you are given an unlimited amount of free alchool and food. I sat, I conversed, I drank my paychecks worth of alchool, and I of course, ate my face off. All of these aspects combined make one happy Meghan. Things got pretty interesting when someone brought out a camera. Everytime Guy I Don't Know With a Camera would take a picture of my friends and I, we would make stupid faces and give him the thumbs up sign (umm have another drink Meghan and friends). After doing this multiple times, his camera stopped working. This lead us to believe that we did indeed, break his camera.

This is where the fun ended.

I was woken by my roommate at about 10 in the morning to inform me that yet again, the dog had shit all over himself. After almost throwing up about 15 times and giving Cayden his 4th bath this week, I decided to get some of my Christmas presents together. After about, oh, a half hour of that, I got bored. And since it is almost physically and mentally impossible for me to finish anything I start, I decided that I wanted to get a haircut. I called my favorite salon and to my surprise I got an appointment the exact time I wanted it for, on a Saturday none-the-less. OK people, how does that old saying go? Oh ya, when it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

On the way to my hair appointment, I was on the phone with my dad talking about the dog's crap-ca-pades. Refusing to let my "bad driver because she doesn't pay attention" reputation down, I made a right at the bottom of my hill instead of a left. Not a big problem right? WRONG! I was stuck in idle traffic for forty. five. minutes. 45 minutes of not moving anywhere. 45 minutes of me cussing and screaming at absolutely nothing because I was in the car by myself. 45 minutes of just staring out the window and mouthing words to songs I barely knew on the radio while most likely looking like an absolute headcase to other drivers surrounding me. The only good thing was that i was able to push my hair appointment a half hour, but in hindsight - not so good.

When I got there the hairdresser (who had never done my hair before) called me Stacie. I should have know then that she was a few fries short of a Happy Meal. If you are that much of a mental midget that you cannot look at an appointment book and READ someones name, you are just proving Darwin's Theory of Natural Selection to be false.

Idiot Girl gave me the worst haircut ever. She seriously butchered me. When I told her to stop cutting because it was getting too short she said "Well, that's what you wanted". Um no retard, that's NOT what I wanted. I told you I wanted ONE inch cut off not THREE. I had already made the observation that she didn't know how to read, but then she proved her idiot status to me even more by showing me she couldn't count either. She would also ask me my preferences AFTER she would perform the act like - "You don't want to be able to put your bangs behind your ear right? *Snip*" - "Um, well I WOULD have liked that, but apparently now I'm going to have to wait about a month to do it" and "Do you like hairspray? *said as she's immersing my hair with about a half can of it" - "Actually no, I don't use it, but at least now I know that I happen to get stuck in a TORNADO on my way home, my hair wouldn't get messed up!"

I walked out of the salon looking like a boy with Cindy Lauper bangs. I cried the whole way home. When Boyfriend came over to comfort me, I pushed him away and said that I looked like a boy with boobs. I told him he would have to turn gay in order to stay with me. And this people, was just Saturday afternoon.