Suzy Homemaker I am Not

Disasters I have caused lately:

The Sugar Cookie Disaster

Apparently sugar cookie dough cannot last that long, and if you do decide to put it in the refrigerator, you should cover it. Boyfriend tried to help me make my impending candy cane cookies.

Boyfriend: This cookie dough is hard as a rock.

Me: So, it still tastes OK.

Boyfriend: No, it won't taste OK, its as hard as a rock.

Me: Tastes good to me.

Boyfriend: Sometimes I just really don't understand your thought process.

Me: Do you really think there is one?

Boyfriend: I can imagine the recipe you would write for sugar cookies "First, set aside 30 days".

The Sprained Ankle

Sick of the long week I had spent in tennis shoes, I decided that it was time to get back into a pair of heels again. A pair of REALLY big heels.

It took about 4 steps on hardwood floor for me to tell that this was a bad decision.

Me: Can you tell I'm walking funny?

Boyfriend: No, its like your pimp walk.

The Birthday Party

One of my good friend's (I'll call her Cool Mom, CM for short) was having a birthday party for her 2 year old this past weekend. When I arrived at her house, I saw that she was struggling to get the food onto the table. Against my better judgment and her ignorance, I tried to assist her.

My first task was to prepare a spinach dip. CM did not defrost the spinach. I said we could just run hot water over it, she said to put it in the microwave. I did as she said because unlike my suggestion, it made sense.

I was primed as a peach after I prepared my dip and put it in the oven. I didn't break anything, I didn't burn any flesh off myself, and no one had lost any limbs. I was very pleased with myself until CM discovered that there was no spinach in the spinach dip and yelled for me to take it out of the oven - NOW.

Soon after, Roommate #1 arrived and immediately expressed her discontent of me being in the kitchen. Soon after that, I burnt her arm with bacon grease by throwing (yes, seriously THROWING) a piece of wrapped bacon into the already simmering pan.

The Ironing Mishap

Yesterday I took a scolding hot iron to my favorite sheer shirt. The result? Total meltdown and one unhappy camper.

Needless to say I've learned my lesson. I will now be hibernating in my room so I can not cause anymore damage to myself or others. See you in the new year....possibly.