Now Let's Start at the Very Beginning......

There comes a time in every woman's life when she realizes that however much she loves her parents, she is not able to live with them anymore. That time came for me about a year and a half ago. I graduted from college and moved back home. Ahh it was so good to be home!!....for about the first month. After that the "where are you going", "who are you going out with", "what time will you be home", and the ever popular "I just cant SLEEP until your home safe at night" comments came at me full force. I was stuck. In a mild attempt to salvage a "career" after college (since I graduted with a "would you like fries with that" degree courtesy of the liberal arts college) I bucked up, went back to school, and agreed to be at my parents mercy for 9 months.

I figured that nine months wouldnt be so bad, women go through grueling and tortoreous pregnancies for that long, surely this would be a breeze - right? Wrong. At month #3 I knew I had to get out. But what was I going to do for rent money? (not to mention shoe money) My Panera Bread part-time paycheck couldnt even feed my shopping hunger that I felt had to be satisfied AT LEAST once a week! At month #4, sadly, I realized I had to grin and bear it.

*Disclaimer* Dont get me wrong now, I absolutely LOVE my parents to death and dont know where or who I would be today without them. They have been my rock throughout the past 24 years of my life and I would do ANYTHING for them....except live with them for another year (hehe).

In month #8 my grandfather died. It tore me apart inside, but however hard this ripped at my heart, it was so hard for me to be THAT sad. My grandmother passed away 3 years before him, and you could tell that it was hard for him to go on without her. To me, I was happy with the thought that they would be reunited again and pictured both of them in heaven taking thier daily walks together like they used to do before they got ill. Long before either of their passings, my Ma and Pap had told both my parents and I that they wanted me to have their house when they were gone. (If you knew the history of me and my grandparents this would come as no surprise to you. I am the only child of an only child which made me an only grandchild. If you dont know me, you will at least have an understanding of why I act the way I do (haha)). Both of them did everything for me in life, and now they were doing the same in death. They not only gave me a place to live, but somewhere I could already call home. At last, I was going to move out!!

I wasted no time and after about 16 resumes, a couple of "thanks but no thanks letters", (or as I call them the "we hate your face rejection letters") and 8 phone calls left unreturned, I got my first and only interview. When the day came I put ON my best suit, tookOFF the makeup, and draped myself with a much needed positive attitude. I was going to get this job....hell i HAD to get this job....it was the only way to freedom - my only chance!

After two interviews I landed myself the worst paying and shittiest job I've ever had. But hey, I didnt know that at the time!!! The paycheck was MUCH more than my $6.50/hour check I was used to...this was great - I can get my own apartment now!!!! The next month I found myself a prospective roomate and started budgeting.....hmm not much left after I finished paying all of my bills....but oh well! Now I will be independent! This cant be so bad.

OK it was bad. After my parents had so graciously paid off my outstanding credit card debt as a good parting present, the debt had gone back up to what it was...plus some (OK alot - shit). It was then that I realized how much of a shitty paycheck I was getting. I was not about to go to my parents (who had already paid for a new refrigerator, new kitchen, and new carpet for me..ooops) so what do the finincially insecure do in this situation? Save you say? NO! They go and make more money!!!

Which brings me to where I am now. After THREE interviews I landed a job at a big firm like I always wanted, complete with a human resources department and a fat paycheck. Hopefully now I can stop sponging off my parents, pay off my debts, fix everything I have F'ED up in the past year and finally declare my independence....but I'm not counting on it just yet.